My Nguyen: Growing Up in War Torn Vietnam
Profilers: Muze Beale, Hayden Brophy, Emma Currier, Stracy Hoang, Joyce Wu
Introduction
Yeah. So, my name is My Nguyen. I’m from Vietnam. I’m born, like, 1969. And the war, like, 1968 to 1975. And I came here, like, 2002 with my husband, [we] married.
Memories
Q: What is one of your earliest memories of the war?
A: Because we live in. In the South, Vietnam, you know. We live in the South. And the South with the North, you know, like, they separate, you know.
1975. And then the North, they take over the South, Saigon.
And a lot of people, they stuck, you know, back home. Look like Vietnam, you know. They’re still stuck there. And all the guys, you know, soldiers working with the war many years. And they get in trouble. They get in jail, you know?
Even, like, my dad and my uncle, yeah, they get in jail, like, after the war. They took all of them, the guys, soldiers, go to the jail. Like, even my dad got eleven and a half years in the jail. They took my dad go to the north forest and my family can’t see him even one time. Until like after a few years, they say like my dad die. But he not die, you know? He’s still alive. But when my dad get people new government like Vietnamese you know, they take over. And the North, they take over the South and then there will be change, you know? The history, Vietnam and then they change a lot, that’s why when my dad’s have to the jail. Like when I’m just turned six years old, and my sister four years old, and the little one two years old. I have three sister in the family and when my mom just thirty-three years old when my dad’s go to the jail and he stayed there like a few years, and after that they, yeah- I tell you like they tell my dad die. You know because they have the same name. When my dad go to the jail, he changed the name. He changed a new name and new birthday because he doesn’t want you know they found the real name. They found my dad, the real person, that’s why my dad’s want to change or look like the new person in the jail. He doesn’t want you know they found him because he the one like the leader, you know? The leader hired.
That’s why you know he’s so scared and after like a few years when he in the jail, we just a little, he- we go to school. We really hard time and my mom is a hard time for like uh the year like 1983, 1981, 82, you know it’s really hard time. We so hungry and when we went to school we can’t be the normal student because everyone to ask us about like “where your dad”, you know? “What your dad doing?” I don’t want to say like anything. I’m just saying “I don’t know about that.” It’s like “why you don’t know your dad’s name?” And say he in the jail because we have the paper signed up when we at school. They asked before and we say my dad in the jail that’s why people- they look at the record and then they can tell like my dad can you know uh working in the jail. They can tell like my dad can uh working in the jail with the American in the war and and they don’t care, you know? Mostly they don’t care about like people. I have dad working like this, they laugh at us, you know? I have dad working like this. They laugh at us, but it’s okay we still in the school. And that’s many years we really hard and hungry and we have no enough food and until like um let’s see uh until like 1986.
They send a letter for my mom and my family like my dad could be freedom on summer. They send a letter for my mom and my family like my dad could be freedom on summer I remember- I don’t remember the day but I remember summer and then we so happy, I can’t believe it. Me and my mom to go to the train station and pick up him in there, but I’m still remember look like yesterday. He’s- he- um- everyone you know they coming down from this the train, but we didn’t find my dad either because my dad skinny and he wear the hats on because someone give for him the hat. The lady hat, they want my dad give for my mom or for us.
That’s why he wear on, when he freedom. He come to me and then he come back you know like twenty time but I didn’t know him really. I don’t know about him because when he left I’m just six years old. I’m just see the picture on a family but I can tell if I saw- I’m still remember him and my mom say maybe we didn’t found him. I say maybe when I’m turned almost 17 and then I’m saying “mom, maybe they they say something wrong,” we didn’t see him and finally just only one left over there. I just see the back, he walking so far, and my mom say “Maybe your dad.” Then my mom to call his name and he turned back. Suddenly we see together so happy but you know he’s so skinny, and dark skin. His teeth like turn falling down, turn black. And he so happy, he asked me “are you [call my name]?” I’m saying “yes” and he asked like how about like two girls? They stay home and waiting for you. We remember I’m asking like about like “are you hungry” and then we took him go to the restaurant and eat full noodle and he eat two bowl. That’s mean, I remember until now.
Immigration
Q: Can you talk about your journey immigrating to America?
A: I’m coming here. I’m talking about back about last time I talking with you, like when my dad’s home, like, 1986, and after that, few years, like 1992, and, the government look like united, government united president, they sponsor for all the guy soldiers working the war with the Vietnam and American, you know, many years ago. And they want to sponsor for all the guys and include family kids come in here for free. Uh, that’s why all the paper working, they have the list, and then they send for Vietnam and then people, they will become an interview and they go. They come in United. And include my dad’s have the paper approved too. But when we went to the interview, we get trouble because my dad’s have the two certificates, you know?
(In Vietnamese: Two papers) certificate, like one for real and one for fake. I told you that’s why my dad change, in the prison that’s why that’s a problem. And when my dad interviewed, they asked “why you have the two certificate?”, my dad say “because when I’m there I have to change my name and my birth, because I don’t want them finding my real name and my real person. That’s why I have two.” Then they asked like “how I know which one real, which one real?”, and then they say “can you show me like all the tag? Or something you’re working with the proof.” But my dad doesn’t have anything because my mom, when my dad got in the prison, the jail, my mom took all of them. The tag, name, paper and the clothes, showed her something put in. She fire and then she threw away, you know? And she doesn’t want to get trouble with us. That’s why we don’t have anything to show when we interview. And they say they will be waiting until we show something for them. You know, the real one, but we can’t. That’s why we felt when I’m just turned like 21, you know, you saw, and my sister 19, and another one, like 17 years old. And we felt, we were so upset. And my dad, so that’s, that’s me. That’s the, he feel like really terrible. He say he can’t bring all wife and the girl go to the American for the freedom. Finally, and he’s- he get really sad and even us too.
And after that, we home and we have to start again. It’s hard. I’m working in a factory and sewing for factory and then I’m just quick job because I thought that I’m going to American and oh my gosh, that’s a terrible for me. And then I have to find another job for my life. And then, you know, finally I have my husband now lets me like. I meet him in Vietnam. And he and family look like my daddy-in-law, my dad-in-law. Have to approve paper and they they come United States and that’s why I miss him in Vietnam and when he come in here and then he back and marry with me. Yeah, he bring me home and he bring me come in here. That’s why I’m come here and the little one my sister have another guy from United States. He half-American half-Vietnam. He back home and marry with my little sister. That’s why we lucky we have two sisters stay here and the middle one sister still stay Vietnam and to stay with my mom and my dad now.
Post-War Vietnam
Q: What is your experience of Vietnam now? How has it changed?
A: I think they change, you know? I can tell now, Vietnam, they change a lot.
They have, um- they have many factories growing up, and they have a lot of people from United States come over or anywhere, you know, look like China or Singapore, they come and they build up the business. They make a lot of jobs in Vietnam. That’s why now people in Vietnam, they have more jobs. And I think life is better. Not like poor like before, but I can tell now it’s better. And people, they feel like I’m just home, you know? Like a couple months, that’s why I can tell it.
Now, you know, they change a lot of people. They have money, they more independent. That’s good for now. I can tell. Yeah. But the government, they still control, but not like before. They open a little bit. And um, I get like, uh, I can tell now, people look like me before, when I’m back home, I’m nervous. Like 20 years ago, I’m nervous, but
Looking Forward
Q: What lessons do you think younger generations should learn from the war?
A: To the young person. You have to learn because I can tell now, even if we live here or we live in Vietnam. In Vietnam, I’m talking about Vietnam first okay, if the war passed, we learn a lot from people young. We learn a lot from the the war in United States and Vietnamese fighting. We know about why we have the fighting.
Q: (In Vietnamese: You can speak in Vietnamese too if that’s easier)
A: (In Vietnamese: Because the Vietnamese want to change their life for the better. It’s like when we do anything, we want to do it to better ourselves, right. When we find go to find a new job, we want it to be better than our current one, right. We have the right to pick and choose. If we have the choice between two jobs, why wouldn’t we pick the better one if we can. We must try. If we don’t try, how will we ever know? If we can’t try, then okay, then we’re done. But if we have the opportunity to try, then we must try to be better, right? Do you understand? Living in America is like this. I come here and I am constantly fighting for my life and working.
I’m not like stay home and somebody work and make money for me. No, never. We have to working. We have to try, you know, working and thinking something better and then we can do it. That means we learn. We learn and we thinking which one better and which one we have to be change. We can do it. Why not?
You can learn, everyone can learn the war to be like this. Why we have the war like this? That’s a big question you guys asked me. Because Vietnam, we want, you know, to be better. Exactly. We want the good thing. Everyone they want to be good and have change the life. Not for you. Not for parents. For, you know, like kids, right? For kids. That’s why a lot of people, they fighting and then they die. They die because for you guys have to be today better. Yeah. That’s, yeah, that’s mean; I know. Because I have the blood from my daddy. That’s why I need to be strong. Yeah. If, you know, the second one, that’s the second one to be, you know, changed. We still, you know, to want to be like this. They say, like, never give up, right? You’re right. Yeah. Mm-hmm.